Endings are Simply Transitions
I have noticed that most people who I attract as clients are going through a life transition. Life is ever evolving and full of change yet some changes are much more impactful – graduation, moving country, divorce, changing jobs/redundancy, health issues, retirement, death of a loved one, etc. These times our stress level tends to rise and doubt can creep into our minds.
When we are at a major crossroads, we typically want to ensure we choose the right path. When we are in doubt, we find ourselves uncertain as to the ‘best’ road to take. We may even find ourselves uncertain as to what we want. And what we want will change over time. We may doubt our choices. Having been so caught up in a way of being we often don’t question our thoughts or choices but when the world that we knew is no longer there, these can be times of high anxiety as we grapple with the new.
Many people get stuck on reliving the past and wishing for days gone by. We are all entitled to some time for self-pity but when it stops us from moving forward, it becomes problematic.
The world moves on and so must we. If we choose to do nothing, that choice will have a consequence. The key is to be responsible for our choices because although these life events can be challenging, they inevitably will lead to something new and quite possibly, exciting.
Keys for Change:
Building Flexibility of Perspective
You are in a new world and so you need to look at the world with open eyes. The brain is a muscle like any other. If you don’t use it, it atrophies. It’s time to start exercising your brain once more to see the world of possibilities. If we remain engrained in our thinking we miss life. There are a host of opportunities before us at all times. If we have forgotten, it’s time to step outside the box and cultivating our creativity does this. So, consider taking that art or writing class. This will help to open your thinking and reengage your curiosity for what’s next
Give Yourself a Break
If you’re anything like me, you are solution-focussed. In the West we tend to rush to find the solution to our problem. When really a transition isn’t a problem – it’s a natural passage of life and so I have learned to take some time and cruise along the passage. If I’m sailing along my passage of possibilities, it’s important to have my sail & bearing pointed to the future. And it’s perfectly ok to look back, reflect, shed a tear and say goodbye as you distance yourself from the past. It’s okay to hang out and listen to music, eat grapes and sleep in your boat as you sail along the passage. Take the time to rejuvenate then when you look towards the future, you will do so with renewed energy.
Get In Touch with Your Values
Your values are your inner touchstone. They are your criteria for you to determine the best choices for you. When we make decisions that are against our values, something just doesn’t feel right. It’s as though there is an inner rub.
When we make choices guided by our values, we find ourselves in the state of flow and certainty. If I value writing (and I do!) then when I write, the words flow from my mind to my fingers to the page. If, on the other hand, I find reading a tedious affair, writing a book would most probably make me miserable. If I value nature, then walking through the forest or at the beach is most likely going to make me feel really good.
We all have an inner compass that will lead us to joy – our values.
Find Your Spirit Guide on Earth
When I have gone through major transitions it’s almost like my spirit is broken. And yes, there are those who believe in spirit guides who watch, heal and help you on your physical journey into higher consciousness. It is said they communicate with us during meditation, dreamtime and show up as messages in our mind. Now, I’m all for calling on my spirit guides yet, from my point of view, it’s important to have a go-to person here on earth to guide you along the way during your transition.
People often reach out to self-help books and I’ve certainly read my share. Caveat about books is that we ‘translate’ the author’s words through the filter of our mind, thus our own perspective. It’s important at some point to take action when books no longer work. Endings are how we begin anew.
“Wherever people find themselves in trouble or at some kind of crossroads, the series proclaims you are free to choose. That’s the deepest lesson of ‘Star Wars’.” – Cass Sunstein