Do You Cha Cha?

Do you do the Cha Cha?


Watch your thoughts; they become words.

Watch your words; they become actions.

Watch your actions; they become habits.

Watch your habits; they become character.

Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.

-Upanishads of the Vedas


These words have been quoted by Margaret Thatcher and Mohandas Gandhi because they are powerful.  For me, the first three words are the most powerful of the bunch.




People think they are their thoughts.  People think what they think is true when really it may be true for you alone and not necessarily a perspective shared by anyone else.  We think what we think based on our past conditioning and no two people in the world think the same way.


A good exercise to learn how you think is to listen to your inner self-talk.  When you listen to your inner chatter, are those thoughts serving you?  Do you say empowering things to yourself that will ensure you have a great day or are you hard on yourself?


We don’t have to accept what the voice in our head is telling us if we don’t like it.  We can choose not to give it power.  After all, it’s just our brain having a thought and a thought is a thing. Things can and do change.  We can change HOW we think.


Some people think they can change their lives through positive affirmations. They are a popular new year resolution.


However, positive affirmations don’t work if the voice in our head is countering the affirmation.  For example, a popular affirmation is: “Every day and in every way, I am getting better and better.”


Sounds good, no?


What if as we say the affirmation the voice in our head says something along the lines of, “Who am I kidding; my life is never going to change no matter how many affirmations I try. I wish I could meet that special someone…find that job … get that dream house…


BOOM, right there you have countered positive momentum in your mind and also turned your state of mind over to an external event, neither of which are going to change your state of mind to an optimum level. One step forward; two steps back. Cha Cha Cha.


Just as it’s good to exercise our body, it’s good to exercise our brain to achieve results both personally and professionally.  The natural tendency is to slip into reliving the past or worrying about the future both of which can produce unnecessary anxiety and worry.


When you catch yourself having a negative thought, simply stop and focus your mind on something else that makes you feel good.


Listening to music is a wonderful gamechanger.  Put on a favourite tune and step lively into your future. Everyone around you will benefit. Watch how others’ reactions change when you change your thinking.


Greetings from Athens!

Greetings from Athens! As I stare out at the Acropolis from my hotel room on Vasllisis Sofia Drive I remain as ever amazed at how people think. I’m attempting to fill a group workshop and I’m getting more requests to work with individuals 1 on 1 and no takers for the group workshop. I believe it’s because people are frightened to be judged by others in the group. Sometimes, being a confidence coach has a negative connotation attached to it even though I know confidence is in high demand.


As I contemplate other’s thinking patterns, I think it’s apropos to be in Greece, the ancient home of some of the world’s great thinkers such as Socrates for example. He was a classical Greek philosopher credited as one of the founders of Western philosophy who died 399 BCE. He was sentenced to death by drinking hemlock.


An unexamined life is not worth living.” – Socrates


Plato was another philosopher and founder of the Academy in Athens. It was the first institution of higher learning in the Western world. He passed in 348/347 BCE.


Thinking is the talking of the soul with itself.” – Plato


And last but not least,


Pride or Pain?

It’s been raining hard. I have mud all up my calves, my hiking shoes are filthy, my feet ache, my big toe nail on my left foot has turned purple and I have blood blisters at it’s base, I’ve developed blisters on my right foot and hand, I walked 25 km today. I am on the Camino de Santiago de Compostela in Spain and I’m about to take a glorious hot bath – after I shower down my legs of course. Who wants a muddy bath?!


For those of you who do not know, the Camino de Santiago or Way of St. James, is the pilgrimage to the Cathedral of Santiago de Compostela in Galicia in NW Spain, where legend has it that the remains of the apostle, Saint James the Great, are buried.


It is difficult to define where exactly the Camino starts as pilgrims used to start their journey from home, but over the years, different ‘ways’ have emerged. The French Way is the most popular and it usually starts in the French Pyrenees.   There is also the Northern Way, the Original Way, the Portuguese Way and the Finisterre Way. We met someone who began his pilgrimage from Geneva.


One of my compadres (friends) tells me that when it comes to discussing physical challenges, that one can discuss the pain or the pride. Today is the third time he attracted bed bugs, which is very common on the Camino. Despite this and the other hardships he has endured walking over 700 km, he says he will only discuss the pride of his adventure. I am obviously not of the same mind.



Dare to Detox?

As a confidence & clarity coach, I write my blog to help others with their mindset. This month is a little different. I am going to focus on the physical and share my detox story with you. I am writing this month’s somewhat lengthy blog from Bodrum, Turkey where I travelled to embark on a 9-day detox program at The LifeCo.


Nobody can deny that when we feel fabulous physically, it only enhances our self-confidence.”


I have been on detox programs in the past, but I have never felt the need so great as now. It’s been a tumultuous year both physically and emotionally and it’s time to get off the roller coaster ride. I feel the need to be grounded and heal my body and rest my weary mind. I am an over-thinking empath, the combination of which can be exhausting. Physically, I have been anguishing with an underactive thyroid for some time now. I need a good cleanse inside and out.



Do You Want Peace & Happiness?

They say gratitude is the best attitude. If you’re not feeling happy or positive, sometimes it can be difficult to feel grateful yet gratitude is the way out of a funk. It’s helpful to understand the neuroscience behind it.


According to UCLA’s Mindfulness Awareness Research Centre, regularly expressing gratitude literally changes the molecular structure of the brain, keeps the grey matter functioning and makes us healthier and happier. When you feel happiness, the central nervous system is affected. You are more peaceful, less reactive, and less resistant. And gratitude is the most effective practice for stimulating feelings of happiness.


Thich Nhat Hanh is a global spiritual leader, Vietnamese Buddhist monk, poet and peace activist who has a Mindfulness Practice Centre in France called Plum Village. Some of his wisdom:


It is possible to live happily in the here and now. So many conditions of happiness are available – more than enough for you to be happy right now. You don’t have to run into the future to get more.”



How to Discover Your Inner Guidance System

I see many people unhappy because they are out of touch with their own values. We live confidently when we live our values because they are our inner guidance system.


Knowing the difference between your beliefs and values can be a little confusing. People use both to guide their actions & behaviours and to form their attitudes towards things, but they are essentially different.


Beliefs are convictions that we generally hold to be true. usually without actual proof or evidence – they are a matter of faith.


We tend to be more aware of our beliefs then we are of our values. Values on the other hand are our moral code, our standards and from my point of view, so much more important than beliefs because our values are our beacon on the road of life. Whereas beliefs will change.