Greetings from Athens!
Greetings from Athens! As I stare out at the Acropolis from my hotel room on Vasllisis Sofia Drive I remain as ever amazed at how people think. I’m attempting to fill a group workshop and I’m getting more requests to work with individuals 1 on 1 and no takers for the group workshop. I believe it’s because people are frightened to be judged by others in the group. Sometimes, being a confidence coach has a negative connotation attached to it even though I know confidence is in high demand.
As I contemplate other’s thinking patterns, I think it’s apropos to be in Greece, the ancient home of some of the world’s great thinkers such as Socrates for example. He was a classical Greek philosopher credited as one of the founders of Western philosophy who died 399 BCE. He was sentenced to death by drinking hemlock.
“An unexamined life is not worth living.” – Socrates
Plato was another philosopher and founder of the Academy in Athens. It was the first institution of higher learning in the Western world. He passed in 348/347 BCE.
“Thinking is the talking of the soul with itself.” – Plato
And last but not least,
Aristotle who was another Greek philosopher and scientist. He joined Plato’s academy and remained there until he was 37. He taught Alexander the Great. He was credited with the earliest study of formal logic. He passed in 322 BCE. One of his quotes that I particularly love because I know what we think is not necessarily true.
“It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.” – Aristotle
I’ve had a number of clients tell me that they were initially afraid to work with me. This is typical for some people who lack self-confidence. One client even told me that they thought they were not good enough to work with me. That thought is an example of a limiting belief or what I like to call a ‘thought-knot’. I’m a coach that helps with the inner game, so your outer game improves. Full stop. It has nothing to do with being good enough.
Athletes have worked with coaches since the time of ancient Greece and remain an important part of an athlete’s training to this day. Back then a coach who trained a winning athlete was revered and received equal credit for his student’s accomplishments. Sad but true that both athlete’s and coaches were men, as women were not allowed to compete. Nowadays there are coaches for lots of things.
From my perspective, all too often, people think there is something wrong with them if they admit they need help with improving their mindset. Not true. From my perspective, it’s the caring what other people think of you that is the problem. And yet, it’s not really. It’s the imagining that other people are judging you in a negative light that is the real issue here. A common thought-knot is imagining the worst and suffering for it.
Suffering is a choice. A choice of what we fixate our thought energy on. We think what we think is true. However, we think what we think based on our conditioning and no two people in the world think the same way or perceive life the same way. Therefore we can relax into confidence because if you’re thinking negatively of me without really knowing who I am, then why should I care? I don’t. But so many people do thus the reason why so many are scared of public speaking.
Think of it this way, your problems are invitations to step through fear.
The starting point to get beyond our self-imposed limitations is understanding what thoughts are and how they came to be and then making the decision to change. Yes people it takes flexibility of perspective with a desire for self-improvement. We are all conditioned beings who are reactionary. We react to this and that yet we have the power to not participate in the drama of our thinking. All thoughts are equal. You give them power by identifying with them. You can choose to de-tangle your thought knots and return to your heart.
In the January issue of Time Magazine – The Optimists, Bill Gates was their first ever guest editor. Bill points out in his editorial that there is so much good news that is happening in the world. For example, in 1990, more than 1/3 of the global population lived in extreme poverty; today only about 1/10th do. He sites other examples. Yay – good news! Why do we feel like the world is in decline?
He thinks it is partly the nature of news coverage. Bad news arrives as drama, while good news is incremental – and not usually deemed newsworthy. People think what they think based on their conditioning and media is a part of that.
I am a Master of Neuro Linguistic Programming because it is one of the best tools I have found to sort out our conditioned thinking and take our power back. I know it works because it worked for me. Check out My Story page on this website if you haven’t already.
I used to have a lot of thought knots but have put time and energy into changing my way of thinking. I have chosen to create my life, not react to life. Everything starts with a thought. When I feel off course, I strategize a productive way forward that I know is in alignment with my values and passions. Sometimes it takes me a bit of time to get there but I get there in the end. I credit it to the work I have done on self-knowledge.
People aren’t motivated to change what they like about themselves or their lives. Rather, they are motivated to change what they don’t like. I am forever thankful for my dysfunctional birth family because it provided me with the wisdom of what I didn’t want in my life. If you want to change you need to become weary and uncomfortable with your current life situation. If you want to live a joyful life then you must no longer accept leading a mediocre life of a ‘just okay’ life.
Just a couple of NLP techniques, if practiced, can change one’s life. There are many paths to self-knowledge. Just don’t ruminate and think about it and read a book or two. Do the work and prove it to your self. Then a great confidence will arise in you. #Pride.
Suffering is a wake up call because you’ve consented to limit yourself. And you always have the choice to step out of entanglement and question what you are focusing on. It’s a moment-by-moment choice.
We all have the power to believe and the power to focus our attention. Become the watcher of your thoughts and observe how your mind wanders. If it wanders to the negative, and you don’t like how it makes you feel, it’s time for some brain training. It’s you who decides your destiny. It’s not fate or luck. Your destiny is the result of your choices. I have a friend who always tells me how lucky I am. I spend time considering my choices and the more I do, the luckier I become.
Focus wisely as it helps you stay on point throughout your efforts to achieve what you want in life. Devote your attention to each task at hand to the best of your ability and then you will feel fulfilled. Concentrate on what you’re doing when you’re doing it. Turn off the phone. Get off social media. Spend some time on your top priorities instead of menial tasks. Time spent on top priorities will have a powerful and profound impact on your life.
GOAL>>>>> STRATEGIES >>>>> TASKS >>>>> ACTIVITIES #Winningformula
We can’t focus very well when we don’t know what we want. I have been in that place a few times in life. I remember when I left my ex husband. I had a great job, money, and friends and could do pretty much anything I wanted but I didn’t know what I wanted so I dove in to working on myself to figure it out. Sure, I was uncertain of my future. What I know now is that uncertainty is a certain thing. Don’t let uncertainty dissuade you from making major decisions because you are only shielding yourself from success.
One of the best things I think I do is to help my clients get very clear on what they need to have in their lives to be happy and satisfied. I don’t do that until we’ve done some clearing of the murk of the mind otherwise their limiting beliefs and negative self-talk will sabotage their efforts. Thinking positively doesn’t change our patterns.
Developing a winning mindset first and foremost is of paramount importance. You can’t live a positive life with a negative mind and you can’t have success if you don’t know what that means to you. There are a number of techniques to help answer this question. One of my favorites is to create a vision board. This will help you visualize your goals and is an excellent way to absorb yourself in the image of your success, however you define it. You will find out how to create a Vision Board below.
Many people I observe spend far too much time living in the past. Sometimes, when we experience emotional trauma, we get trapped there. This was true for me and again why I am so thankful for NLP as it enabled me, with help from a skilled NLP Master Practitioner to release the trauma that kept dragging me back to the past. The past does not equal the future unless you live there. I needed help getting over my past and the limiting beliefs that were imposed on me through family dysfunction.
It’s important not to bully yourself with negative beliefs because they may take away your ability to succeed.
Clearing the murk from the mind is really an inner healing. Healing is not about forgetting. It is about turning your suffering into wisdom. I used to be an ‘oh woe is me’ young woman. I got comfort when people felt sorry for me. For a time, I wallowed in my suffering. I learned suffering well by following my mom’s thought patterns. Thankfully, with determination I got past the past. I was not going to ever let it defeat me.
I recently watched a You Tube video of Caroline Myss who is one of the world’s leading voices in the fields of human consciousness, spirituality, health, energy medicine and the science of medical intuition. I paraphrase below the key takeaways for me:
“Don’t look backwards for guidance to chart the new. Don’t go to who you were or what you did and long for things that are no longer appropriate. It’s time for something new. We are never on the wrong path. We may not be managing it well. Making unwise choices if the way you are managing your path, so if you don’t like the results you’re getting, make better choices. Choice is a fundamental power of the human experience.”
Choose who you want to be or more importantly, choose HOW to be and then throw everything you have at it. Direct your focus and energy.
As a hypnotherapist, I know how important it is to focus your conscious mind to direct your unconscious mind. Your unconscious mind doesn’t know what is real or imagined and so you want to focus and imagine good things so it produces the hormones that simulate joy, happiness and other positive emotions. When you experience these emotions, your brain will operate at is peak performance and increase the likelihood for you to achieve success. This in turn, increases motivation, elevates your mood and assists you in making good choices. To that end, I have created a YouTube page with guided hypnotherapy audio sessions to help you focus well. There’s more to come!
I invite you to visit my channel:
“Excellence is an art won by training and habituation. We do not act rightly because we have virtue or excellence, but rather, we have those because we have acted rightly. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” – Aristotle
Creating a Vision Board
One MAJOR rule: there aren’t any rules
The purpose is to bring everything to life. Think about your goals for:
Relationships, career, finances, home, travel, personal growth (including spirituality, social life & education) & health
You don’t have to cover every area the same
Life evolves & there will be times when particular aspects of your life are more important to enhance than others
Handwrite your goals instead of typing them
There’s something energetic about writing
From your goals and aspirations think about what you want on your vision board
Focus on how you want to FEEL not just stuff.
Use aspects of your life you absolutely love – if it’s working for you now it deserves representation
Use magazines, computer images, words, photos, quotes