Some people are rather attached to their drama or sometimes, a person’s righteousness gets in the way of them being open to growth which is a shame.  A growth mindset is fertile ground for expanding our knowledge and consciousness.

And there it is, the words of my former mentor ringing loud and clear in my mind, “Pam, being right doesn’t count”.

Clint was a Buddhist so he never explained why.  He wanted me to learn the lesson on my own.  I concluded that anyone who had to prove me wrong, were indeed annoying.  Years down the line working with Clint to facilitate his workshop, ‘Developing Flexibility of Perspective’, did his message become clear.

Being right doesn’t count because you may be right, but it may only be your perspective and one not shared with others or your audience.  Ultimately it is a rapport breaker.  And if developing a referral network is important for your work, being right can damage your success.  Nobody wants to work with someone they don’t like.

With my NLP (neuro linguistic programming) and hypnotherapy learnings I modified his workshop to include further tools.  I like to think I enhanced it.  Whether this is true or not, I do not know.  After all, we all see life through our lens of the world.

Our lens on the world is based on our experiences, socialization and emotional wellbeing or lack thereof.  From the various stages of our lives, we develop triggers, some good, some bad.  The smell of newly mowed grass or a Beach Boys song, will always bring a smile to my face.  Seeing a battered woman or hearing an abusive alcoholic rant brings unease because what I went through much earlier in life.  It only takes a few minutes of a movie to do this.  Fortunately, I’ve done enough work to know not to go down the wormhole of melancholy.

From great pain comes great wisdom.  I don’t feel sorry for myself for what I have lived through.  Indeed, I have received the great gifts of tenacity, determination, compassion and curiosity by navigating the dynamic of the family I was born into.

Now I focus on the positive triggers in my life and no, I’m not perfect at this.  Practicing gratitude does take discipline.  Perhaps that is the incorrect word.  It takes reminding oneself to notice how you feel.  How does that person you’re with make you feel; or being with your pet, or walking in nature or having a wonderful conversation with someone you respect?   When we feel a rub, often it is because whatever we are doing is rubbing up against our VALUES.

I always come back to my Values as they are my inner guide – letting me know if this is a good thing or dreadful thing for Pamela Pitcher.  It is a powerful mechanism I use to guide and protect myself on the journey of my soul.

Happily, through a little bit of informal coaching disguised as conversation, I recently helped a friend realize that she in fact was marrying a man good for her.  Naturally she had trepidation being married two twice before.   Now she is looking forward to her wedding day with joy and isn’t that how it should be?

Thank you for continuing to read my blog.  I value each one of you for that and appreciate your comments.  It’s interesting who I hear from and which blog has ‘triggered’ something for them.  Luckily, it’s because they share some of my values about a certain subject.  If they don’t, they usually unsubscribe.

Values come into play always.